When it comes to love-making I can never resist a challenge. I am sure that retrospect on this will provide some fascinating revelation about myself some learning that will no doubt prove valuable to me in my quest for self-understanding you know, a deep and meaningful 'aha' moment of clarity about my personality But in the meantime, all I know is that when it comes to sex I just can't resist a challenge And it worries me sometimes, I have to admit. For example: I was with an new lover it was our first night together and i had whispered into her ear what can i do for you my darling, what would turn you on while sliding my hand down across her breasts and belly (I was much more nervous than i seemed but wasn't about to let on) Well, she said, very calmly and a bit clinically (which gave it away that she also was very nervous, and wasn't about to let on) I like what you're doing right now... Oh, uh, I should tell you, I'm not really into penetration, though you're welcome to try, but I haven't in the past gotten very far with [......] ooohhhh In fact, I got very far, much to her surprise. And she's a real fan of penetration to this day. But you can see where I would worry about this, because although my main goals were to give her pleasure and to get closer to her, and although she had invited me to try despite her doubts, I can't deny that a major reason I chose that particular road was because of the challenge she posed me. Like the lover who said that as much as she would like it otherwise, she needed a vibrator to come I nodded in understanding, thought about it, and asked her if she liked it that way. Well, not really, but that's just the way it is, I guess. Uh huh. So, what could I do except lie down beside her, whisper all of my love into her ear, and make love to her until even if she had needed the vibrator which she didn't there was no way she'd have had the muscle control to reach for it? And I have to admit I felt pretty proud of myself. When it comes to sex, the word 'can't' is not part of my vocabulary. I would never do something that a lover didn't want, but when a lover says 'I can't do that' it somehow becomes my personal mission to set out to prove otherwise. And I'm not sure this is quite the way I want to approach sex. I mean who the hell do I think I am? It's not like I've had tons of experience but in these situations, the first thought that comes to my mind is, 'oh, your other lovers just didn't do it right' or better yet, 'well maybe she couldn't do it for you, but I can'. As if I of all people know what's best for her. And I'm sure that this is somehow very politically incorrect of me. But it's so much fun! Of course, sometimes it's a matter of personal pride. One lover didn't believe that when I ejaculated I wasn't actually peeing. When quotes from books and articles and stories from other dykes failed to convince her, I decided that the only way to prove it was to let her decide for herself. She claimed she just 'wasn't an ejaculator' It took six months. And she wasn't convinced the first time and made me do it again. She was sort of converted the second time but wanted to just make sure. Finally we bought a plastic mattress cover and she decided she didn't really care what it was as long as we kept doing it. This I regard as a personal failure and I want to go back and try, just one more time, to get her to agree that ejaculate is not pee. Because deep down in side I know that I'm right, and she's wrong, and I want her to admit it! It's not like anybody has ever complained about this quirk of mine. Although after a while my lovers get to know that gleam in my eye or recognize the tone of my voice when I say, 'oh, really?' as a sign that they have just handed me a dare. Usually they sigh and let me have my way. After all, I almost always succeed. -copyright sarah baker 1997

Sarah Baker Explicit is as explicit does, so they say. Currently unemployed, relocating, and generally turning her life upside down. Sarah Baker likes to take her mind off the turmoil by writing erotic rants, some of which she sends to her lover, just to make her blush.
Explicite comme il se doit, enfin c'est ce qu'on dit.... Sarah Baker est actuellement sans emploi, en train de déménager, et d'une faon gŽnŽrale de faire basculer sa vie. Dans le but de calmer ses esprits de toute cette agitation, elle écrit des petites tirades érotiques qu'elle envoie parfois à son amante.... pour la faire rougir.

Also by Sarah Baker - Free Association